A father and his son went out to catch a football game. On getting to the venue, the dad realized he left the tickets at home.
A man took his son out to watch their favorite team play a football match. When they arrived at the stadium, the father checked his wallet for the tickets but could not find them.
After thinking of the possible places he might have misplaced the tickets to gain entrance to the stadium, he figured he must have left them at home. Turning to his son, he said:
“Nip home and see if I left the tickets there.”
The young lad, eager to get to the game, replied in the affirmative and took off immediately, leaving his dad waiting at the stadium. About thirty minutes later, the boy returned with a grin on his face.
The dad, who was still waiting outside, then asked about the tickets. To that, the young man replied:
“Yep, they are on the kitchen table where you left them.”
MARTHA AND STUMPY HAVE A PLANE RIDE AT THE STATE FAIR
An elderly couple paid their annual visit to the state fair and decided to enjoy a ten-dollar dream ride at no cost.
Marta and her husband Stumpy were regular patrons at the state fair yearly. And every year, Stumpy fantasized about one-day enjoying a ride on the airplane.
However, the only catch was the 10-dollar bill attached to each ride. Each time the elderly man suggested the ride, his wife would caution him, saying:
“That airplane ride costs ten dollars. And ten dollars is ten dollars.”
One year, the duo honored their annual visit to the fair, and as usual, the elderly man became drawn to the plane. Turning to his wife with a glint of hope, he said:
“Martha, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year, I might never get another chance.”
The woman replied in her usual stern manner:
“I know. But Stumpy, that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”
Feeling defeated, the elderly man gave up pressing the issue further. However, the airplane pilot overheard the couple’s conversation and threw in an offer:
“Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you. But if you say one word, it’s ten dollars.”
The pair took the pilot up on his suggestion and boarded the plane. The mischievous pilot did several twists and turns during the joyride to draw a reaction from the couple to no avail. After trying all the tricks in the book, he grounded the plane and turned to Stumpy, impressed. He noted:
“By golly! I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”
Feeling a bit disoriented, Stumpy responded:
“Well, I was gonna say something when my wife fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars!”
A WOMAN FILED A MISSING PERSON COMPLAINT AT THE POLICE STATION AFTER HER HUSBAND WENT MISSING
A concerned wife showed up at the police station early one morning and reported her husband missing.
Accompanied by her next-door neighbor, a worried woman, who was clueless about her husband’s whereabouts, went to the police station to file a complaint.
After reporting him missing, the officers asked the woman for a brief description of her husband. She replied:
“He’s 35 years old, 6 foot four, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 100 kilograms, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.”
“No!” The alarmed neighbor interjected. “Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children!”
“Yes,” the woman replied. “But who wants him back?”