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Woman Bans Sister-in-Law From Her House for Not Calling Daughters by Their Names

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On January 16, 2024, “FitStarAnise” asked Redditors on the “Am I the A–hole” subreddit to share their opinions on her dilemma in a post. It was titled “AITA for banning my husband’s sister from my house until she uses the names of my twins?”

In the post, FitStarAnise described herself as a 38-year-old married woman with identical six-year-old twin daughters, Amy and Nina. They live in the same town as most of her husband’s family. But since they have the biggest house, they often find themselves hosting the family’s gatherings. 

“My husband’s youngest sister Jane (31f) has been traveling for work ever since her early 20s,” wrote FitStarAnise. However, in 2022, she moved in with her fiancé, got closer to the family, and regularly attended family events.

“The only thing she never bothers to do is address my daughters by their names,” wrote the Redditor. “Jane always insists on calling the girls “the twins” and makes no effort to distinguish them,” said FitStarAnise. 

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“I understand when people refer to them as “the twins.” But I think it is important that their individuality is respected,” FitStarAnise added. “I always tell family and friends that now that they are six years old, it is important for them to have their own identity. And, if possible, please treat them as individuals rather than [as] a pair or a unit.”

Fortunately, Amy and Nina both possess different interests and hair/dressing styles, so it is not difficult to tell them apart. But Jane just won’t make the effort despite how many times FitStarAnise has asked her.

“Jane would say ‘OK’ and then keep doing the same thing,” she said. It was irritating behavior to FitStarAnise. But after Jane’s behavior during Christmas, FitStarAnise banned her from her house until she changed.

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“Last Christmas, Amy made paper cranes, and Nina painted flower pictures as their Christmas gifts to everyone in the family,” said FitStarAnise. “They signed their names and individually handed the gift to everyone.” 

When Jane’s fiancé joined the gathering later and asked where the gifts came from, Jane replied, “Oh, one of the twins gave it to me for Christmas. The other twin drew some flowers.”

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Her statement got FitStarAnise angry. “I felt that this was a disrespect as my girls put a lot of effort into the gifts and deserve to have their private dedication recognized,” she wrote. She confronted Jane about it after everyone left, according to her post, requesting that her daughters be called by their names, not “the twins.”

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Jane refused again, pushing FitStarAnise to ban her from the house until she changed. In response, her sister-in-law “just stomped off,” but her husband was on her side. Jane called the annoyed mother later, but it was not to make peace. 

“She said my girls would be known as the twins whether I like it or not, and once they get older, people will recognize them as individuals, but not now when they’re young and ‘just another couple of girls,'” FitStarAnise wrote.  

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Jane insists she wants access to FitStarAnise’s home for future family events and that FitStarAnise should “let it go.” “AITA?” asked FitStarAnise. According to other Redditors and experts, FitStarAnise is not at fault.

Two experts who spoke to Fox News Digital said it is important to stress individuality when raising twins or multiples. Other twin mothers and grown-up twins have echoed the sentiment.

There were over 1,600 replies to the post and most supported FitStarAnise. Jane will stay banned until she accepts the mother’s condition and netizens stand solid behind her.

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