An elderly man came across a talking frog floating in a lake. After a short conversation, he had to choose between having a frog or a beautiful bride.
Once, an 86-year-old man who loved fishing went out on his boat to enjoy his favorite activity. No sooner had he set out when he heard a tiny voice coming from the lake saying:
“Pick me up!”
The man looked around but found no one in sight. He dismissed the voice as a hallucination and continued fishing. However, just as he cast his line into the lake, the voice spoke up again, repeating the same words, “Pick me up.”
This time, the request was too prominent to ignore. Searching harder than before, his eyes caught a green frog floating on an algal bloom in the water with its large eyes fixed on him. The frog repeated the words to the man’s surprise. The shocked man asked:
“Are you talking to me?”
“Yes!” The frog replied.
“I’m talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me, and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride.”
The old man thought for a while, then reached out, grabbed the frog, and placed it carefully in his chest pocket. The angry frog protested the move saying:
“What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said, kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.”
Without much consideration, the man opened his pocket, looked at the frog, and said:
“Nah, at my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”
So much for the magical transformation!
THREE MEN WAITING TO GET INTO HEAVEN EXPLAIN HOW THEY DIED
Three men were waiting in line to get through heaven’s gate when an angel approached them to find out how each of them died.
There were once three men who died on the same day and therefore got to the gate to heaven at almost the same time. However, the men soon found out that there was room for only one person in heaven.
An angel walked up to them and explained that only one could make it past the gates. To break the ties, he asked each one to narrate the story of his death. The man with the most appealing story would make it through.
The first man began his narration eagerly. He explained how he suspected his wife was unfaithful and decided to bust her in the act. One day, he arrived home early and went up to his apartment on the 24th floor of a building, sure to catch her in the act. He, however, found her alone.
Relieved, yet in doubt, he looked through the window and found a man hanging off the edge of the balcony. He went over to the suspected lover and began hammering his fingers until the intruder fell off into the underlying rose bush.
The intruder survived the fall, and as a result, the man lifted the refrigerator and tossed over the balcony to end his life for good.
“After all that heavy lifting.” The man concluded. “I died of a heart attack.”
The angel expressed his sadness over the man’s plight and turned to the next man to find out his story. Fuming with rage, the second man recounted how he was doing yoga in his apartment on the 25th floor of a building and suddenly fell over.
He was lucky enough to catch the rail of the balcony on one of the floors below. A man came up to him soon after and began hammering his fingers until he fell into the bushes below. The man concluded:
“I was alive but very sore. He then threw a fridge over the edge onto me, and here I am.”
After listening to the second man, the angel said:
“This is just terrible.”
The angel then turned to the third man and asked:
“What about you? How did you die?”
Remorseful, the man began:
“Well, I was hiding in a fridge…”
Here’s another joke