Getting over a crush can be tricky, especially when those feelings have lasted for extended periods. Yet, sometimes, doing so is the thin line between frustration and sanity.
Dealing with unrequited love? Or perhaps you figured it could never work out with that special someone you’ve developed feelings for due to a variety of reasons? Whatever the case may be, one thing is certain – Being in those shoes sucks.
Oftentimes, finding oneself at that point of realization leaves us with just one way out, which is burying those feelings for good. However, doing so could suck more than living with one-sided affection.
Yet, getting over a crush is both healthy and productive in the long run. Plus it helps clear the mind, free you from the hurt, and make your heart available for the true love you truly deserve. Sounds like a silver lining!
Finding it difficult to get over a crush, here are ten useful tips to help you move on in no time.
1. Make The Pen Your Secret Tool
Relationship experts believe writing it all out is a beautiful way of getting over a crush. And those who’ve tried it confirm it works every time.
The secret: use an actual pen and paper rather than tapping off on your mobile device or laptop. While either method serves to get all that feeling out, there is something about wielding a pen that makes the process more effective.
What’s important is writing out those feelings, and keeping a journal detailing your love, frustrations, things you like about them, and those you hate.
Be sure to tell yourself the truth, and the more you do so, the more you foster self-love, which in turn helps you realize you have someone more important to invest your love in – YOURSELF.
2. Talk Your Feelings Out
Rather than worry about topics to talk about with your crush to make them like you, invest all that time in sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family.
That could save you the risk of potentially embarrassing yourself by finding reasons to be close to them. Relationship experts believe the same hormones come to play when talking to a crush, as when talking about them.
Hence, an important step in trying to overcome a crush is to talk it out with someone you are certain would not judge you. Doing so helps the body and mind relax.
Additionally, by opening up about your feelings, you position yourself in the right condition to hear the other person’s thoughts, opinions and experiences, and how they handled similar situations effectively.
3. Focus On Their Annoying Traits
It’s easier to fantasize about an idealistic version of someone when you have feelings for them. But guess what? No one is perfect!
That simply means even your crush has annoying or undesirable attributes. Once you make the decision to do away with your feelings for them, let yourself think of those undesirable qualities and focus on them.
In this case, having friends point out those annoying habits like picking their nose, being terrible at keeping things tidy, or not liking dogs would go a long way.
4. Invest In Yourself
Getting over a crush could sometimes feel like losing a loved one. But it is important to resist the urge to focus on your grief, choosing instead to focus on you.
Whether the person in question was a former partner you never got over, or a love interest who never shared your feelings, to begin with, make sure to utilize your decision to let go as a stepping stone to rediscover yourself.
Now would be the right time to try out that new gym in town, expand your social circle, learn a new skill, treat yourself to that expensive steak, enjoy a day at the spa, or go on that dream vacation. Anything to give yourself a chance to do what you love and feel good about it.
5. Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Perhaps you’ve been in the process of letting go longer than you’d anticipated, and find yourself feeling you are not doing enough. Instead of beating yourself up over it, take a moment to let yourself feel your feelings.
That way, it would be easier to understand exactly where those feelings are coming from and how to overcome them. Remember that having a crush on someone, no matter how intense, is nothing to be ashamed of.
Hence, at this stage, separate yourself from anyone who makes you feel otherwise and be rest assured that feelings come and go.
6. Resist The Urge To Stalk them On Social Media
If you have a crush, chances are you already follow them on every social media platform, and probably spend half your day rummaging through their feeds.
At this stage, you want to go easy with the cyber-stalking, or better still, do away with it completely. That said, unfollowing or unfriending that crush for the time being would go a long way in letting you heal effectively. The explanations could come later.
7. Cut Off Communication
The most effective means proven to help get over a crush is avoiding them and cutting off all communication with them altogether. This includes fishing for information about them from mutual friends.
Most times, this could mean deleting their contact details, blocking them, and avoiding places you might run into them. Of course, this stringent measure doesn’t have to last a lifetime, just long enough for you to get over them, heal completely and move on for good.
8. Meet New People
Meeting and hanging out with new people adds variety and adventure to your life. It also beats down all the tension especially when you socialize without expectations for a romance.
Additionally, by making new friends and acquaintances, you could explore new possibilities that go a long way in extinguishing old flames and make your heart open to letting someone else in.
9. Talk To Your Crush
This may seem counterintuitive, but talking to your crush about your feelings could go a long way in helping you let go.
Granted, a lot of things could go wrong by taking that bold step, from the risk of losing their respect or friendship, if any existed, to the possibility of rejection or worse having them take advantage of your feelings.
Yet, that is sometimes a necessary judgment call, and who knows, the feeling just might be mutual and hence, mark the start of a new relationship. But do not bank on that to avoid crushed hopes.
Taking the step to disclose your feelings to your crush should mean you have decided to let go of them completely, prepared yourself for the worst, and couldn’t care less about the repercussion.
Let them know that too, so the confession would not end up spooking them. Also, explain your decision to avoid them or cut contact with them as part of your healing process so they’d understand and respect your actions.
Mind you, at this phase, you want to avoid the friend zone like a plague, as that’s the last place you’d want to be.
10. Consult A Therapist
Perhaps you’ve tried all the previous steps and none seem to be working. Instead, you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into the choking feeling of grief or anxiety in your attempt to move on.
Consider seeing a therapist or counselor to discuss your feelings, especially when they keep you awake at night or prevent you from enjoying the other beauties of life.